I have spent the last 6 years researching and learning about the things I can do to help me maintain my mental health, and also to boost my mood a little when I start to feel down.
I want to stress that what made me healthy was medication and therapy, these are little things that I do to maintain that health on a daily basis. These techniques are not a replacement for therapy or medication should you need it.
I have major depressive disorder which is a life long condition, but what I have learned could probably help anyone with any form of depression, mood disorders, anxiety or even just low mood and low energy. Maybe you’re just having a tough time right now, as many are.
Exercise
This is probably an obvious one, but it is hugely important. You don’t have to get super fit, or run a marathon or go to gym everyday, just do something, ideally every day but if you need to start out with 2 or 3 times a week, that is great too. You just need to start, a walk, some stretching, 10 minutes of yoga, swimming, anything. Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you feel better. Exercise gives you a sense of achievement and control, and also boosts your energy. Start where you are, do what you can. When I started running, I could not run for a minute without stopping.
Nutrition
Reducing sugar, salt and oil intake can really help your mood. Eat some fresh fruit and veg, it does not have to be a salad, if you don’t enjoy salads. Eat the fruit you like, have your veg in soup or with pasta, eatI got healthy can be enjoyable. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you can still have your pizza on Friday nights, but good nutrition can have a noticeable affect on how you feel, a deficiency in vitamins or minerals can cause low mood and fatigue. Dehydration also makes you feel lethargic and down.
Supplements
As I said above, vitamin deficiencies can cause low mood, supplements like Vitamin B, Vitamin D, and B12 can ensure you have the correct levels. I take these and a multivitamin daily. I also take some herbal supplements, but I will do a separate blog about them and link the relevant medical studies.
Get Outdoors
I love being in nature, forests, beaches, parks or even my own garden, getting outdoors can always make me feel a little better, especially if I practice mindfulness as well.
Self Care
This was such a revolutionary thing for me, I was such a people pleaser, I killed myself to look after everyone. Learn your boundaries, learn what you need and ask for it, or take it whenever possible. For me, self care is pretty simple, it’s buying good skincare products, it‘s painting my nails and getting a nice haircut, I hadn’t done any of those things in years prior to my break down. It is recognising when I am over stimulated or tired, and allowing myself to retreat and recharge when I need to, recognising my boundaries and holding firm with myself and others. It is allowing others to help me, and it is asking for help. It is expressing my needs, and feeling like I am allowed to have needs just like anyone else. Examples of self care: Wash your hair, take a nap, meditate, ask for help, cook a delicious meal, paint your nails, dye your hair, do a face mask, do a hair treatment, watch a movie, have a bubble bath, read a book, get your hair done, get a facial or a massage.
Journaling
Many therapists will recommend this, I find it very therapeutic to write down my thoughts. There is no right or wrong, do it digitally or buy a pretty notebook to write in. I have also written letters to people as well, some I sent, some I burned.
Creativity
I am by nature a creative person, I love to paint, write, design and crochet. One day during my depression I sat and painted on a canvas, on my dining room table, for an entire day. I was completely dead to the world, I think I spoke 2 words to my family that day. I was absorbed and I was putting my feelings onto that canvas one by one. Afterwards I felt like a weight had lifted. I wasn’t cured and tap dancing my way into mental stability, but it did lift my spirits. It’s not what would be considered a ‘’good’’ painting but I still like it, it’s just colours, it’s not actually of anything. Creativity does not need to be ‘’good’’, It does not even need to be recognisable or understandable, no one ever needs to see it.
Setting an achievable goal
Set a goal that you can achieve and start working towards it. When I was severely depressed I could not have done this, I think this needs to be done from a healthier place, for me at least, or perhaps the goals just differ, perhaps when I was really depressed the goal would be to take a shower. I set the goal and work it backwards into smaller goals, for example I have always wanted to get my degree in psychology, so that I could help people suffering from mental illness as I have. The goal is the degree, how do I achieve that? First I figured out where I am going to study. I signed up for the first module and applied for a study loan. Now my next step is to complete my first module, then sign up for the second module and complete that, and so on. Another goal of mine is to run a half marathon, my first step was to start running again after a break of 5 months, I am running 3.5kms 4 times a week or so right now, my next goal is to complete a 5km, then a 10km, then a 16km. I just keep increasing my kms slowly until I can do 21km. I break it up and focus on the next goal of completing module 1 or a 5km, otherwise going from where I am now to a degree or half marathon seems overwhelming. Goals can be smaller than a degree or half marathon. I had smaller goals first, like run a km without stopping, run my first 5km, complete the 6 month mini MBA I am finishing now. As you reach one you set another slightly bigger one. Maybe you want to walk 2 miles? Maybe you want to start going to a yoga class? Maybe you want to declutter your house? Maybe you want to learn a new skill? Maybe you want to save for a weekend away? Set the goal and break it down into steps.
Meditation
Mediation really helps to calm the mind, it helps to sort through all those erratic thoughts. If you have never done it, it might seem intimidating but it’s quite simple, enter into it with an open mind and do not judge yourself, if you are breathing, you are doing it right. I use the headspace app but you can find guided meditations on YouTube as well. All you need to do is sit or lie down comfortably and breathe. (Considering adding guided meditations to my YouTube channel soon)
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment, not regretting the past or worrying about the future, enjoying the now. You can do this by stopping for a second and taking a deep breath. You can engage your senses by thinking about what you hear, see, feel, smell or taste. Find the joy in the moment. One example of this in my life has been putting my daughter to bed, I used to lie there, wishing she would fall asleep so I could relax or clean the kitchen or take a shower, I was focussed on the next moment, not the current one. Now I try to lie with her, feel her in my arms, smell her skin and hair and enjoy the moment of cuddling with her, and instead of rushing off once she’s asleep feeling stresses and rushed, I leave feeling warm inside. Things you can do to practice mindfulness: rub your hands over something like your bed sheet or a blanket and think about how soft it is, lie down in bed and think about how comfortable it is, hug someone and focus on ho the smell and feel, sit outside in your garden and listen to the noises in your neighbourhood, touch the leaves of a plant and think of how it feels, stop every now and then during your day and take a few breaths, connect with the moment. Don’t rush through every moment in life, pause to enjoy them. Check out mindful.org for more.
Self Talk
This is a hard one to change, my self talk was awful. I started change it through 3 months of CBT therapy, and then lots more talking therapy. It is something you can work on and become aware of on your own. Start by being aware of your thoughts and they way you talk to yourself in your mind. Would you talk to someone else like that? Why not? You deserve your kindness as much as anyone else does. Write down the negative thought and challenge it, what could you replace that thought with? If this is something you struggle with, consider researching CBT, or even seeing if you can self refer for free CBT counselling through an organisation in your area, I self referred to Mind. Visit mind.org.uk to see what services are available in your area.
Get Support
I cannot stress enough how much support groups helped me last year, hearing people say exactly what I felt was amazing. Some days I would get through because I knew I had a support group meeting the next morning. There are online groups or meet-ups, If you can’t go in person. I found my support groups through mind as well.
Daily check list
When I was in recovery from my break down, I wrote myself a check list of things that would help my recovery, I’d try tick off the majority of them each day, some days I could only manage one, and that’s ok too. Write a check list that works for you, you can include things from this list, and things that are specific to you. Make them achievable and don’t add too many, maybe 5 or 6 items. Some examples: 10 minute walk, 10 minutes of yoga, take vitamins, 10 minutes of being creative, write in journal, practice gratitude, meditate for 5 minutes, 8 hours of sleep, 6 glasses of water, 3 kinds of veggies, 2 kinds of fruit, connect with someone (even just a text), write down 1 good things about yourself, practice 1 act of self care, bathe, water a plant, clean part of a room, read 2 pages of a book.
These are not magical cures but small actions that you can take to feeling a tiny bit better each day, or maintaining your mental health in the long run. Some of them will work for you, some won’t, not everyone is going to enjoy meditation or painting. Don’t put pressure on yourself, encourage yourself gently, be kind to yourself, imagine you are talking to another person. Do what you can, if all you do is stay in bed and read 2 pages of a book, that is fine. Doing our best looks different each day, some days you tick off every action and some days just one seems like a massive challenge, take your time, you are worth taking care of.
Samaritans UK has an App that also helps with providing coping techniques, check out samaritans.org
You can also call the from anywhere in the UK for free 24/7 should you need support. — Call 116 123
Please check out my YouTube channel for more discussions around mental health. On Friday I am releasing Episode 2 of the Kindness is not Weakness series, in which I discuss abusive behaviour with Psychologist Gemma Harris, who was actually my therapist. Please like and subscribe.
You matter!
Love as always
Tarryn
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